you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize