We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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