I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
