is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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