i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
