the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
