Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When did angry sex become our thing?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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