You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.