yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...