apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
