Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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