Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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