we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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