I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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