There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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