do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
