It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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