Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
