Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
