i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
