It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Success! We fucked roommates!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize