No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
