i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
