I look better un-naked...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
