Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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