White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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