Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
