the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
