last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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