I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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