OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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