I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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