Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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