Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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