just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize