remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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