Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm really into asian looking animals
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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