are you still at the devil's house?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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