Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
