white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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