guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
