So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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