Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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