More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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