Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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