I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
