Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
do herpes really smell.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
