used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
bring money and cleavage
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
