He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
