i'm signing you up for texting rehab
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
