Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
