what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
