I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Semen is not good for contacts.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
