i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
