Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize