so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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