we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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